“Leave strangers beside themselves with envy”.
Remember the halcyon days of 2016 when (quickly does a Google) No Man’s Sky came out and One Direction announced its hiatus? Do you also remember Microsoft’s questionable fashion foray, the official Xbox hooded onesie? Well it’s back and this time it’s heading to the UK.
The original version of the Xbox hooded onesie (which I was initially going to shorten to ‘honsie’ until I discovered what a honsie was) featured large pockets in which to store your official Xbox One controller/phone/toast, “forearm grips”, and an oversized hood, presumably for concealing your identity while in the presence of judgemental peers.
It came it black and white variants, and did, I’ll admit, look surprising comfy. Unfortunately, it was only available for purchase in Australia, meaning that the privilege of wearing one while in the midst of a horrifying popcorn incident was only available to our upside-down friends.
Now though, just in time for Christmas, Microsoft has announced the hoodie’s return, and UK sorts can finally get in on the fashion action too. Ultra-large pockets are back (although I’m not too sure about the “forearm grips”) and the oversized hood has now been given a delightful green trim, which successfully manages to be both on-brand and slightly festive, giving wearers the distinctive air of Challenge-Anneka-meets-corporate-elf.
This new limited-edition iteration of Microsoft’s comfort garment, which it reasonably describes as a “bold fashion piece”, is officially titled the Xbox Hooded Union Suit and costs £64.99. It might also cost you your dignity, but it doesn’t mention that on the website.